Lab offenses call for food

From Howard's Desk
From Howard's Desk

Lab offenses call for food

Maintaining positive interactions among personnel is crucial to managing a laboratory. As laboratories become more crowded, personality conflicts inevitably arise and when they do, the entire staff may suffer from increased stress and tension. Here, I report on a unique method–the Food Offense — for reducing stress. My laboratory has used this method for many years to successfully defuse stressful situations. A Food Offense is when the actions of one laboratory member disrupt the work of other members. While there may be lively debate, a majority vote in the lab is sufficient to declare a Food Offense. The offender is given two options:
  1. Start looking for another job, or
  2. Bring in food for the lab. (Homemade food, preferably containing chocolate, is desirable but not absolutely required; healthy foods might qualify but only if they taste like something fattening.)
Offenders typically choose Option #2.